real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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