16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
