the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
this will be a night to untag.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
