She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize