Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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