They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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