If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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