after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
