it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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