Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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