Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My dick has a subreddit
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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