this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dignity is for republicans.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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