next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
