His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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