I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
