A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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