it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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