you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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