No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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