she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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