All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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