What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
