and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
