Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize