when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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