Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
