Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
