you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
