Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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