What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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