Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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