I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
