adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
