i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
