Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Randomize
