i just snorted my name. best moment ever
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize