BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
did you just send me my own nude
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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