dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
