he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
