ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
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elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
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I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.