can we get nightvision for the apartment?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Randomize
