Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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