i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize