i think i have two assholes
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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