My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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