office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
