This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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