Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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