she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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