FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
