Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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