I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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