I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
