You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
