help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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