you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
