This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
