dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize