the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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