Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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