i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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